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I
was born in Brooklyn on January 12 1967, the same date as Howard's
birthday. Is that just a coincidence? I think not! I came from
a broken home, no dad around, only mom to support me and my brother.
As a boy, I realized that my penis was not the
same size as other boys. Going to the bathroom you tend to notice
these things. In my teens I started getting erections. I noticed
it was normal size when hard but when it wasn't, it was rather
small, almost non-existent. I figured that this would change with
time.
I first got devirginized when I was 16, by a 20 year old woman. When we had sex, I was always aroused ahead of time so there were no worries except cuddle time but it really didn't matter. Thank God!
In my 20s, I realized and accepted the fact that when I was not erect, I was hung like an infant. Sometimes "it" was never there but that never stopped me from getting laid over the years. Eventually I fell in love with a woman that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, have children, the whole nine yards. She didn't want kids and for some bizarre reason, I didn't have sex with her for seven months. I was in love but when month five came along, I started to feel like there was something not kosher. I mean come on, five months and you're not knockin boots. I felt that something smelt funny and it wasn't between her legs!
Trying to end my drought, I went to Puerto Rico with her and told myself that this was the final straw, if I didn't get any loin', I was Utah here! Well guess what? I spent the week with her entire family, which was okay but I still didn't get any! I broke up with her the day after we got home. But like a schmuck in love, I went back to her a week later and it was still the same shit. So on New Years Eve, we broke up again and I never looked back. We are currently friends but we will see when the penis show airs on TV.
To start 1998 off right, I decided to get a computer to start hitting on every woman on the Internet that I came in contact with. I had a few relationships, ok, sex! I'm like a wild dog on the loose.
In April I heard about the "First Annual Small Penis" contest on Howard's show. For a few weeks I contemplated doing it. One day, the week before the contest, I was sitting with my mom watching TV when I stood up and said to her, "Listen, I need a constructive opinion. I want to show you my pee-pee". Well my mom flipped out and said "no!" I told her to just look like at it like a doctor, so I pulled down my pants and she said, "Oh, you gotta go, and you just might win!".
So
with that burst of confidence, I went to the Stern show. When
I got there they had a room with thirty guys and Gary (Baba Booey)
who told us we had to go down to the green room and strip. At
that point, twelve guys dropped out, so that left only eighteen
with tiny shlongs. This was the first time
I met Felipe and Gary. When I saw what they where both packing,
I knew I was in trouble. Felipe is the kind of person to win on
Howard's show. He is wild and he has a great look. Gary had the
sad sack mug, where I'm just your average fat wearing glasses
kind of guy from Brooklyn. We all become
finalists and had to dress up as the village people. I was the
cowboy. Felipe the construction worker. And Gary was the cop.
We all had to sing songs, luckily I use to be a singer so I nailed
it! When it was all said and done, Gary
was third then Felipe and then me!
In September, Scott Stein from smspromotions ,invited all of us on the trip and we flew to Mexico. On the plane were some porn stars including Ron Jeremy. I've known about Ron since I was thirteen when I saw him in "Inside Seka" where he pleasured himself which I thought was unbelievable. On the plane, people started to get together in the bathroom. It was a four hour flight so there was plenty of time to get to know each other.
When we got to Mexico, my first experience was with a porn star named was Ivory Blaze, who was very cute. I had great oral sex with her. The next day it was constant sex scenes. Three girls together with two guys, one girl, you name it, they did it. We all had the opportunity to be in a sex scene. I was leary at the beginning but as the days went on it got better.
While I was there, I met and had sex with one of the guests. She and I hooked up with another guy, we were cool with each other, and the girl sure didn't mind. That was something that I would have not done in the "real world".
I
also meet Allysa Allure. She is one of the talent and she is very
close to this girl named Mila. Mila is a story within herself.
She is one of the most horniest woman I have ever met and it wasn't
because of the trip, that's how she was, she loved it in the butt,
I mean all the time! She used Bananas, Jalapenos, you name it,
it went there.
Allysa and I got to know each other and she said that she would do the scene with me. Before we did the scene, Mila and Allysa did a lesbian wedding scene which was so off-the-wall. Mila was shooting hard boiled eggs and limes out of her butt. It was amazing! After that scene it was my turn with Allysa. There were eight people in the room. A Belgium film crew was doing a documentary on the trip and I seemed to become the main focus of the film rather quickly. A guy named Breen, who was from Adult Video News, was taking pictures. Rebecca Bardoux, the cameraman and a still photo guy were also present. I wasn't nervous about the people being there because I was so into Allysa. It started out great but when we were about to have intercourse, she got on top and started to jump up and down on me like a trampoline. I don't know about you but I wasn't fully into having intercourse yet. I was still in my oral sex stage, not completely aroused, so it's like "down periscope!" I felt like a schmuck and I couldn't get it hard again. It was like my penis was pissed at her for being so rough, so fast.
So there I am trying to get hard and it's not happening. The cameraman told me that he once put an AA battery in his butt and that seemed to arouse him. The first thing I thought was "hey that sounds really gay" but I wanted to get through the scene so Allysa went and inserted the battery while it was being filmed by the Belgium crew and the camera man. In about a second, my brain said this isn't right and it shot it out of my butt. Hey call it gay, but it was Alkaline and not a penis. By then we called it a day.
The next day Allysa, myself and the cameraman worked the whole day and we finished the job which you will be able to see this January. Rod Fontana, who was a director and actor, asked me if I would like to direct a scene because he heard that I was helpful to the crews and very likable. I wanted to see what it was like to be in the porn business so I jumped at the chance. I think that they thought they were getting someone who didn't have a clue about film but little did they know I studied books, did some amateur film stuff, acted a little bit not to mention my love for directors like Speilberg, Scorcese, Tony Scott and others.
My cast was John Strong, Doomy More and Temptress. The scene was where these girls where going to play pool but there would be no balls. John walks over, grabs his nuts and says"hey will these balls do" and gets to fucking. I know it sounds cheesy but it looked great and they where all shocked and happy with the results and I was pleased to deliver the goods.
The day we left, I was on the plane with this
porn star named Candy Vegas. She's really pretty and we got to
talking and I told her I was not a member of the "mile high
club". Well one thing lead to another and before you know
it, she's riding me right in the seat. Usually people do it the
bathroom but she had on a skirt, I had on shorts. I pulled down
my shorts, threw on a condom and it looked like she was sitting
on my lap. Let me tell you it was awesome!
Now I'm back to my normal life with great pics and stories. On my trip, I enjoyed the acting and directing and I started to network with the people down there by keeping in-touch with them. I'm going to California on a mission to be a presenter at the Adult Video News or AVN Awards in Vegas this January. I'll be staying with Doomy More at Shania Steel's place. Two great woman that I recommend you go and find in your adult video store. Rebecca Bardoux is another wonderful woman and ex-porn star who's very pretty and has a great body, look for her too.
When I came home, I got booked back on Howard's show and he had my scene ready to play and he was in shock with my sex stories. I was on for about forty minutes, which is a long time on the Stern show since some hollywood stars don't even get that long. It was so surreal being one-on-one with Howard. I've listened since the NBC days and been a fan forever. It was a dream come true to be face to face with the man. On This Saturday's CBS show, the small penis contest show is going to air and most likely my follow-up interview should follow.
I got confirmed as a presenter to the up-coming AVN awards and was asked to sign my video in the Pleasure Productions booth at the CES convention Jan 7-9 at Bally's. If you're in the area, come down and say hi!
I'm also marketing a lubricant called hydro-smooth. It's the best stuff I ever used and it comes with a gift package of candles, body massage oils, soaps, etc. Call 1-800 -778-1985 and ask for the "Smally Paulie" special. I also got green lighted for my first feature film and it's going to star Gary, the guy who went on the trip with me. Shooting starts Spring of 1999 and you can expect to see it this Fall.
If you like to know more about the trip or would like me to email you the info when it's available email me at PAULISMALL@AOL.COM
Paulie's Photo Album
Paulie with Ron Jeromy
Paulie with Angela.
Paulie with the Sin Sisters.
FOR ADDITIONAL TRIP INFORMATION
CALL TOLL-FREE
877-XXX-TREME (999-8736)
OR e-mail www.smspromotions.com
Edited By Kevin Renzulli
